I am so not the perfect mother and I am so thankful for forgiveness from God and my family. My idealist expectations bubble was burst yesterday with my frustrations of doing stuff as a family on my day off of work. My daughter wanted to play the Wii so after a lazy afternoon nap while watching the movie The Patriot, I was all ready to do some family stuff but not everyone was on board with that idea. My attempt to get the game started without my husbands help ended up in a frustrated mess and pushed me to lose my self-control and get angry. In my anger, I told my daughter we weren't going to play but instead go outside and practice riding her bike. She was not kean on that idea since her last practice ride and her fall. She's also becoming aware of how it looks with a 9 year old riding a bike with a parent next to her and training wheels. I turned my anger into what I thought would be productiveness in getting her on her bike but it ended up being a disrespetful mother pushing her daughter to do something she wasn't ready to do. It broke my heart as I saw her go into the house and start crying. My bubble burst at that point in a big way. I saw what I had done and realized how wrong it was. My parenting has always been with a healthy respect for my kids. I have always thought respect needs to go both ways. I did not respect her fears and feelings at all. I went upstairs and hugged her with 'I am sorry's' for a while and than I asked her to come watch me ride my bike that I got for Christmas. In the end, it's probably a good lesson for my daughter to see her mother struggle with her own sins but to turn back and ask for forgiveness but I still wished it hadn't happened. Thank you Lord for your mercy, forgiveness and love.
Matthew 6: 12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
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