Day 9: Drawing Closer to God (Far from Perfect)

Although, my own walk with the Lord is far from perfect, I am so grateful to him for the baby steps that seem to happen every day from over coming fear and anxiety on what to say to people to not beating myself up for my own limitations. I am seeing firsthand how focusing on the Lord and his love for me conquers those fears, clears away the worries and helps me to see myself as the Lord sees me: unique, beautiful, child of God. I feel like I am really living out what Jesus wants for me and he is given me more and more confidence in what he has called me to do. So, I sing his praise because without Him it would not be. He is my strength, my confidence and my peace.
Phillipians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

365 Days of Spirit-Filled Fruits Challenge-Day 276

I think most parents would agree with this, that peer pressure is a top concern. Your children are with you almost 24/7 in those first few years so when they go off to school suddenly they are around their peers a majority of their days. It becomes even more worrisome as they go into those pre-teen and teenage years. I am sure that some kids are just built by their temperament to be able to withstand peer pressure but other kids may need some help. My daughter is getting some blackheads and zits on her face and one in particular got all pussy and was centered right in the middle of her chin. We have instituted the washing the face at morning and night to clean up the skin and hope to keep these from becoming rampant. My dear son has had the acne problem and been on medication for it for a couple years now. Thankfully, he has been very resilient to peer pressure and has chosen his friends wisely. It is tough to not worry about  your kids but in the end they are in the hands of God and are his so we have to accept his will for our kids and just love them and keep on praying and guiding them towards God and his Word.

Romans 8:35-39 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

365 Days of Spirit-Filled Fruits Challenge-Day 65

How dependent on God are you? I am betting not as much as you could be only because that is where I am at too. I am finding that being dependent on God, relying on God takes away the worries of life and brings peace. But can I be relying on God more? Yes. The goal is to be relying on God 24/7, all the time, every minute of every day. Imagine feeling that peace that passes all understanding every day. It is possible with the Holy Spirit’s help and doing our part in asking. Lord, we ask that we see the reminders in your creation today of how well you take care of us all and ask you to take away our worries and bring us the peace that only you can give. With you all things are possible. Amen.

Matthew 6:25-27 Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

365 Days of Spirit-Filled Fruits Challenge-Day 50

We had such a great time watching the Bronco game yesterday. It was a bummer that it didn’t end well for them. I just hate it when a game comes down to a field goal and you know there were mistakes made along the way that could have made the outcome different. But that is what life is all about. Making mistakes and hopefully growing from them. I woke up early this morning and got up to go to the bathroom and get a drink and my mind ended up thinking about stuff at work. I was thinking on this stuff for just a minute when I realized I was worrying about it. So, I began to analyze why I was worrying about it and figured out that it was because of my need for approval and to show that I can do it all. I wanted to make sure that what the boss, owner and my co-workers thought of me was that I am the best and most capable person to do this job. I realized I was being selfish and immediately started praying to God asking for forgiveness and thanking him for helping me see this for what it is so I can grow. From what I have learned about temperament theory so far, there are weaknesses in every temperament. God designed us this way so that we would have the need to reach out to him. These weaknesses in our temperament can be overcome with the power of the Holy Spirit within us. One of the weaknesses within my temperament is worry and/or fear. I have come along way with my fears in this past year and now it looks like the Lord is showing me my worries need to go to Him too. After praying to him about this worry over work and asking for forgiveness, my mind was at peace and I was able to get back to sleep. I have not overly thought of work since. I am certain the Broncos will be re-playing the game they just lost over and over again to analyze what they could have done better, what choices could have been better, what mistakes need to be worked on. They will work on these and hopefully come back a stronger and better team next season. Mistakes, sins and their outcome aren’t on my list of pleasures but the end result of these can be growth in our relationship with the Lord and in becoming more and more as he wants us to be. That in itself is joy. Knowing that God is working on us, molding us, helping us become more like Jesus is the joy in the midst of the mistake or sins we do.

Psalm 43:4 Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and delight.

365 Days of Spirit-Filled Fruits Challenge-Day 46

I awoke several times last night due to my shoulder. In that last waking, it came to me that I had no idea where my camera was. My new camera I got for my birthday in November. I fretted over it and tried to think of the last time I saw it and could only remember seeing it in the suitcase at the hotel in Sterling where we were that last weekend of December. I couldn’t remember if my husband may have taken it out to charge the battery or not. So, I prayed that the camera would be found. I thought about the scripture about the woman who has ten silver coins and loses one. She searches everywhere and finds it and calls all her friends and neighbors to celebrate and rejoice with her over finding the lost coin. My focus ended up on wanting my joy to come back in finding my camera that when I asked my husband about it this morning, I ended up coming across accusatory. He found the camera where I had put it in the glove box in the car and told me in no uncertain terms that I was wrong in how I came across. My joy at seeing the camera and having it back turned into grief for the wrong I did towards my husband. I mumbled out a sorry but he was in no mood to hear it. My emotions definitely take hold of me and I do or say things that should not have been done or said in such a way. I was just reading about this idea of emotions ruling over us yesterday in a book about temperament so I am sure there is a lesson for me in all of this from the Lord. I have often said things in not the right way due to the emotions running through me at the time. It is a weakness in my temperament that I apparently need to work on.  But I think I am finally seeing that it is the emotions that are causing the issue. My temperament makes me an emotional person and I have to call on the Lord’s help to make the weaknesses of letting my emotions control my actions to letting the Holy Spirit guide my actions.  Lord, please help me to let go of any emotions that can turn out to be hurtful and anger-inducing to others when instead I can ask the Holy Spirit to fill me up with peace and please help me find a way to make this up to my husband who found my camera. Amen.

Luke 15:10 In the same way, I tell you there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.

365 Days of Spirit-Filled Fruits Challenge-Day 45

I am slowly but surely learning to be joyful through everything. My team lead came into the office yesterday handing out to us all paperwork regarding a non-compete clause which basically said we can’t go out and get a job with any competitor. Our team lead proceeds to tell us that the company that handles our pay checks, etc said it isn’t legal and wouldn’t hold up in court so just go ahead and sign it. Instead of being frustrated with another thing that our boss/owner is doing that is so controlling in nature, I laughed at it. I took joy from it because it really was funny. I also got news that I am to be trained on a couple of other things because the permitting process is going to become once a month. I really had to laugh about that one because I really don’t think my boss knows what he is doing but I was told right off the bat not to worry about it, that our office manager would be handling all the details so worry is not going to be something I will do. I am going to try, try, try to be joyful in this place of work that is down-right frustrating, depressing and all around a not-so-great-place to work. God is telling me that I need to face this all with joy in my heart that shines out to others. So, if I am to be here for who knows how much longer, I am going to do it with joy because God has asked me to.

1Thessalonians 5:16 Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 336

You know you have some worry in your heart when your mind won’t shut off at bedtime to go to sleep and when you wake in the middle of the night your first thoughts are on something that has you worrying. I had that go on last night. I have a conference call today with some big wigs with an alarm company to go over the notes on a whole lot of invoices which were mostly fines for not doing what the ordinance requires. My biggest fear is saying too much. This jurisdiction is our largest and is the most challenging because of the size and because of the ordinance and to say the least we weren’t prepared to take it on and it has been a learn-as-we-go process. So, I have to find the right balance in explaining why I credited some invoices without placing the blame on my company and making us look bad. I am praising God for just the awareness of what’s going on with my mind and will be praying that God gives me the right words and right tone of voice and a good listening ear as I go through this conference call so that I am clearly helping the alarm company understand the charges and the why’s on why I chose to credit some of them.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you;my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 327

One of the benefits on the journey to becoming a Christian counselor is that I will be discovering more about myself and strengthen my relationship with God. I started reading a book that covers the basics in the theory of temperaments. I am fascinated by it. Already only 10-12 pages into it and I can see what they say about how we can focus too much on our weaknesses and that will bring us out of balance. I totally have done that with my worry over my auditory processing ability. My brain just takes a bit longer to process what it is hearing but I realized that the best part about being a counselor is its okay to ask for more clarification from the person who is talking to you and its part of the job to ask questions and its okay to take notes during your discussion. Whatever my temperament is, I am sure one of the weakness I have is worrying about what others think. It is my biggest road block and confidence crusher. I have been overcoming it more and more but I feel like I am on the verge of really knowing who I am the way God created me to be. In reading this book, I know that that weakness can become a strength when my focus is on the Lord. Praise to God for your guidance and leading down this path to discovery. You are amazing! Love you so, Lord.

Phillipians 2:13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 191

My yougest will join my oldest today and start their week long adventure at their church camp. I have mixed feelings as I do feel a bit of worry for my youngest and how she things will go for her during the week. My other feelings have to do with how quiet it will be in the house without them both. Just me and my hubbie. Hmmmm. I am praising God for this upcoming week as an opportunity to have a one-on-one camp with my hubbie. It will be a good refreshing thing for our marriage. So though it's bittersweet and a little worrisome with both my kids leaving us for a week, I am looking forward to the time for renewal and peace. My prayer is all the kids at camp this week stay safe, sunburn-free, enjoy the experiences and open their hearts to the Lord.
Phillipians 4: 6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving. present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 139

I hate that insecure feeling I get when my bank account goes below a certain limit. It's a reminder to me that I have spent too much and probably not as wisely as I should have. It's a fear that we all probably have dealt with from time to time. But our God is a god of blessings and abundance. He loves us and will take care of us. Jesus tells us this when he says to look how the the birds of the air are fed and without worry and how the lily of the field is growing and beautiful and how much more God will take care of us whom he loves. As I prepare to make one more payment towards something and know that it will put me under my limit, I am going to be proactive and choose to believe that God will take care and I have nothing to worry about. Part of conquering our fears, I have learned is to be aware of them, pray to the Lord for courage and trust God fully. Lord, you will fill me with faith and courage to conquer this fear and all my fears. Thank you for giving me the faith and courage to overcome. Amen.
Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 127

My son has started the process of learning to drive. He's taken his classes, passed the written test and now has his driving permit. He continues with driving time with an instructor and than driving with either myself or Dad for at least 50 hours in the next year. I have been excited for him about it all and I wonder if at some point maybe when he really does get behind the wheel when the worries and fears will start creeping in. So, I am planning ahead which is not like me. LOL. I am going to be prepared for these worries and fears and head them right off with the power of the Holy Spirit and God's Word. I am going to make a list of scriptures and create a prayer card too that I can review and read everyday to help put those worries and fears in their place. Is there something on your horizon that you can prepare for?
Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God."

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 117

A little bit of finacial worrying go to me yesterday. It's one of those months with my upcoming workshops to prepare for, my daughter's birthday and my trip to visit with my sister and mom coming up next month, I was feeling a little worried about how I am I going to manage all these extra expenses. By bed time last night, I finally realized what I had been doing and said a prayer asking God to just take it away. He has always provided so I don't know why I worry about it. Yes, we may have to cut back on eating out and the little extras like a trip to Coldstone Creamery but 'tis just a season of less to help us appreciate the mores. So, thanks to God for helping take the worries from me. Is there something you are worrying about? Take it and put it in God's very faithful hands.
Phillipians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with Thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 79

Reassurance. What a comforting word that is. There are often times in life when we need reassurances. Are we doing the right thing? Should we do something new? Am I a good person? and the list can go on an on. We need to be reassured on a daily basis of a variety of things that life has on our plates. Because of the new ownership at my place of work, it has been thought by several employess that our days are numbered. I got myself worked up with it a bit, getting my resume printed so I can get it updated and keeping my eye out for any opportunities but I was letting worry creep in on what if I lost my job. Worry is a monster that would love to eat you alive if you let it. I decided to kill the worry monster and put my focus on my Savior and by just doing the best job I could do which is what I have always done. Yesterday reassurance came straight from the big man himself, no not God but the new owner of the company. This is second hand as I didn't witness it myself but I believe it. He said he has no intention of closing this office that if he did he would have already told us so! I killed the worry monster and got the blessing of reassurance. I never needed to worry in the first place. Worry needs to become a distant memory of what I use to do. No more worrying about anything! Take this postive affirmation for yourself or create your own: I know God will take care of all my needs.
Matthew 6:25 And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lillies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothes you, O you of litle faith?

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 43

So all that worrying I had about a possible surgery for my shoulder was for nothing. You would think I would have learned by now that worrying over something that may or may not happen is pointless. Thankfully, my worrying over it was short-lived and I made the choice to just be patient and wait for my doctor's appoitment before getting too freaked out about it. So, there is no bone spurs in my left shoulder like I might have thought. It's just the same thing as the last time I went in for my left shoulder which was because of an indoor sky diving injury I had over 3 years ago. Back than, it was explained that I had a "loose" shoulder so the muscles were very strained trying to keep my arm in it's socket during the indoor skying diving thing, which by the way was awesome! He basically said I have a very sensitive shoulder. Since the last shot of steriods I took gave me an allergic reaction, we are going the more conservative approach and doing physical therapy. There is relief in knowing what's going on with it and how I need to proceed. I think I am slowly learning how to avoid aggravating it but I do have to clean my house at some point so hopefully the physical therapy will do it's thing. So, I am praising God today for a direction to take and for showing me once again that worrying never gets me anywhere and I have to rely on Him.
Matthew 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.