Guilt vs. False Guilt

A person struggling with guilt, may be a Supine in the control area. The Supine in the control area is a person who has a hard time making decisions and doubts the decisions they make. When they make bad decisions that are sinful or lead to sinful behaviors, the initial guilt they feel is the Holy Spirit convicting them of their sin. While Christians are saved from death and their sins are forgiven, past, present and future by accepting Jesus as Savior and Redeemer; God wants a relationship with us and is wanting us to confess those present-day and future sins we will commit. This interaction with God builds an intimacy that bares much fruit. When the sin and the guilt of sin has been cleansed from our soul upon confession, then we can move forward in our freedom and intimacy with Christ. 

But for those who have the Supine in their control area of their temperament, they have the weakness of wanting to put the chains back on and not leave the prison Christ has set them free from. They want to hold onto the guilt that they have been freed from because it is familiar or because of fears. This is false guilt based on believing in a lie that says you can’t be freed from all your sins, “not this sin” or that you certainly aren’t worthy of this gift. None of us is worthy but God loves us anyways, no matter what our sins are or will be. 

A Supine in control needs to rely on God’s truth to help them overcome this weakness. It will take a commitment to daily confession and affirmation that your sins have been removed reminding yourself and acknowledging to God that you believe it when he says in Romans 8:1 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 

Any guilt a Supine in control person continues to have for confessed sins is now a false guilt based on a lie from the enemy. It’s a stronghold that can only be broken by praise, worship and giving God glory every day for what he has done for you in Jesus Christ.

Father, I thank you for the gift of Jesus who has shed his blood for me; given me his righteousness and holiness that I can come before you. Help me to live in this victory over sin and death today. In Jesus mighty name. Amen. 

Change of Perspective-The "Good" Samaritan

So often in life, our perspectives are skewed or completely distorted. We live in our perspectives and think they are right until God brings us to the point of seeing that we are wrong. The truth will always win out over the lies that we and the world around us wants to carve onto the walls of our souls. So, I am reading about the story of the Good Samaritan for unknown number of times and God shows another angle, another perspective that is so profound. So let me retell the story that Jesus told. A Jewish man was on his way to Jericho when he was overcome by robbers, robbed, striped of his clothing, beaten and left for dead by the side of the road. A priest comes down traveling on this same road, sees the beaten, naked man and hurries on. What might he have been thinking? I have too much to do once I get to Jericho to stop and help this man. Someone else will come along and take care of him. Or maybe he is thinking, I have to be at that meeting at noon and I cannot be late. Someone else will have to take care of this man. Well, someone else does come by. He is a Levite and when he sees the man, perhaps his thoughts take a different path. Maybe he starts to get anxious and starts searching around the area to see if the robbers are still nearby. He thinks, I don't know where the robbers are but this could have just happened and I don't want to end up in this same condition. His fear motivates him to start walking faster and he tries to keep to the other side of the road near the bushes where he hopefully won't be seen. Alas, another someone comes by. This time it is a Samaritan. Samaritans and Jews did not like each other, in fact, call it more like they hated each other, something like the Democrats hating the Republicans and vice versa. There was so much bad blood between them that the thought of a Samaritan stopping to help a Jewish man was unthinkable but in this story he does the unthinkable. Now, interestingly enough Jesus never specifically called him the Good Samaritan. That is a label we have put on this man. I think the label is fair enough but this new perspective might make you think otherwise. So, I have felt the perspective of the priest being too busy or I have some place to be and don't have time to stop and help someone in need. I have also been the Levite who was too fearful to step in and doing anything. I had never put myself in the position of the naked, beaten Jewish man on the side of the road. Imagine you are that man. You have had everything taken from you, you have been left naked in humiliation and you have been hurt not only physically but emotionally, mentally, within the deepest parts of your heart and soul. And then, Jesus comes by the road and sees you. He comes across the road to you. He takes you in his arms and carries you to an inn. He cleanses and bandages your wounds. He pays the innkeeper and tells him he will be back to take care of anything else. Jesus has gone above and beyond what this man needed. He did that for us when he came down from heaven, lived among us, died the brutal death on the cross and rose from the dead and came out of hell as a conqueror. When we die on the cross with him in our repentance and faith in him, than we too rise from the dead and become a new creation. We have the gift of the Holy Spirit given to inhabit us, live with us in the very own temple of our body. But we can still be swayed by the sinful nature that is in us. We can still choose to let our busyness or our own selfish motives drive our behaviors and lead us to not stopping to help someone in need. Or we can choose to cower in our fear and let it hold us back from doing what we know is the right thing to do, to help the person in need. Or we can allow the Holy Spirit to direct us, to give us the other-centered outlook and attitude, to give us the trust and courage to conquer our fears and do what Jesus would do. He wouldn't care who it was or what he may or may not have done. He would take care of the man. He would take care of you. Jesus concluded his story with the command, "go and do likewise". We have him within us to help us to be the "Good" Samaritan or, in other words and perspective, to be like Jesus.

My Song of Songs

In this last week in the Breaking Free study by Beth Moore, she asked us to read Song of Songs 5:10-16. She asked us to write our own description of Christ based on these verses. I have to confess that this had me a bit tickled because I use to write poetry in my love struck young teen days but I have not really done any love poem since. I feel the stars glistening in my eyes as I read the verses I wrote about my Jesus. Oh how I love you!

My Love is my everything, my all and my being.
His head is crowned with glory.
His hair is soft and gentle as he.
His eyes gleam like the sun shinning on the waters of the sea.
His cheeks are glistening with the dew of sweat.
His lips are telling me of his love.
His arms are strong as iron and soft as fleece.
His body is glorious and bright like the sun when it rises in the morning and sets at night.
His legs stand firm and tall like the sequoias of California.
His posture tells me I am safe; he is on watch over me.
His mouth is like a river of chocolate with never ending goodness.
Oh friends of mine, My Jesus, My Love is mine and yours too.

Insight in Unlikely Places

Chapter 10 of Iscariot by Tosca Lee is a fictional account based on the true account of when Jesus healed the leper. It gives a vivid description of the understanding of what it meant to be a leper, how the society around responded to those with leprosy and especially the unfailing love that Jesus poured out onto this leper.

Leprosy was an affliction that was a walking death sentence. It was thought that anyone afflicted by this had to have sinned. The lepers were considered unclean and were not allowed to be in the presence of normal people. The lepers were destined not only to the agonizing physical symptoms of leprosy but to the excommunication from society, from the touch of the human hand, from being loved and forgotten. But God never forgets any of us and loves all of us with a love that will never fail, will always reach out and touch and love us.

This fictional representation of this miracle helps you see this miracle with new eyes. We are all unclean, not because we have leprosy but because we all bear the sinful nature that we have inherited from Adam and Eve. The spiritual death that came upon Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden because of their rebellion and sin against God is like a bright lite up room that is suddenly immersed in darkness. The Spirit of God can no longer connect with our spirit because his holiness won’t allow it. A Holy God cannot be in the presence of sin. This darkness of the spirit is passed on to us because that is what is there. Adam and Eve couldn’t pass on what they did not have.

Because we are unclean and sinful by nature, God had to turn away from us. We are the leper who has to be turned away from because of our uncleanness. But unlike humans, who shunned those with leprosy because of their own fears, we have a God who has no fear of our sin, he just can’t be in the presence of it because his Holy nature will not allow it. But God, in his goodness, made a plan so that the unclean could be made clean again by the blood of Jesus. His love for us is so great that instead of cleaning the slate and starting over with his creation, he chose to create a plan to save us, to make us new again, to give us the connection back to His Spirit. He chose to come down to us in a way that none expected; an ordinary man with an extraordinary mission, to forgive us of our sins, be the sacrifice for our sins, give us an eternal life and spiritual connection with the Father. Jesus didn’t have to die, he didn’t have to suffer the humiliating and excruciating torture and death on a cross. He didn’t beg for mercy or claim again and again that he was innocent and he didn’t deserve to die. He did what the Father asked him to do; he obeyed the plan that God had put into place. He obeyed because he loved his Father. He reached out and touched the leper and said I am willing because love motivated him. A kind of love that doesn’t fail, that isn’t repulsed or disgusted, a love that sees and does what is right and true. Jesus reaching out to touch the leper and to go against what society dictated was outrageous, unbelievable, unfathomable but Jesus was more than a man. He was God in the flesh and with God all things are possible. He can reach out and touch the sinful mess that we are and he sees only beauty and feels only love. What a gift! What a gift! It is almost too much for the mind to grasp. His love defies all. In the face of evil, he sees the creation he made and loves it, loves us and does everything he can for us no matter the cost.

Lord, I thank you for your goodness, your love that never fails, never ends. You have given us the greatest gift. You have taken the unclean messiness of my soul and made me clean. You have given me your Holy Spirit to light up and bring life back to my dead spirit. You fill all the empty places within and fulfill my every need. Thank you, thank you. These words will never be enough to express the gratitude for this gift but I will continue to say them to feel them. Help me in the day ahead to walk in your light, love as you love me and live out your purpose for me that all this may bring you glory upon glory. I pray this all in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.  

A Question Leads to Closer Connection to You

The sermon on Sunday was about a parable in the Bible that is often preached about so as I prepared myself in church on Sunday looking up the scriptures and read the parable again, I wondered how God would lead our pastor, Jennifer Holz into sharing something new and fresh about this passage. Interestingly, it started with that question that she thought to herself as she was preparing this sermon: Does the sower scatter the seeds intentionally? Whoa, I thought this is going to be more than I was expecting. Thank you God! This parable is often taught to show us the possible soils that we are in and how we have to prepare the soil of our soul to receive the Word of God. But her question led us down the trail of looking not so much at the soil and our own hearts but at the heart of God. She shared an example of how her and her two daughters worked at preparing some soil to plant grass. They raked and watered and had it ready to go. They spread the seeds in this soil. They weren't going to spread grass seeds on the sidewalk or in the rocks.  So why would God scatter seeds just anywhere? My first thought was simply because He can but the pastor elaborated further with the fact that God's abundance is unlimited. His seeds may fall on a path that has been trampled on and packed in by life's struggle, falls into the rocky soil that does not get enough water to nourish it, or falls into the field where weeds take over and choke the plant or into the soil that is ready to receive it; but in all cases God has a purpose. So, yes, it is better to be prepared, be the soil that is ready to receive God's Word and yet there is hope in that God has a purpose for us even when our soil is not prepared and ready. The pastors simple question was the beginning of readying the soil. She learned 4 words to help remember what it takes to keep preparing the soil of our heart and soul, to cultivate a space to grow:
1. Inspired---what about what you read in the Word inspires you?
2. Inquire---what questions do you have? none are too small or insignificant and all can lead to a closer connection to our Father.
3. Irk---what about what you have read in the Bible irks you? it's okay to be irked, frustrated or angry. Talk to God about it.
4. Require---what is God asking me to do? What changes need to be made within me?

Lord, we thank you for the gift of Your Word and we are sorry we are not always ready to receive it. We are thankful that in your greatness you get that we will fail at this again and again and that you still will use it for your purpose. Help us to be more ready, to cultivate the soil of our souls that we may grow more and produce more fruit that brings you glory. In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

Breaking Free Introductory Session

In studying Beth Moore’s Breaking Free, I am finding it is so very helpful to summarize or paraphrase what has been said in her workbook and in her videos and research further to gain better understanding. So, this is what she taught in the introductory session video and my research in my own words.

From the example in Judges 6: 1-6 on Midian’s defeat we can learn a few things; We, the people of God, can live under great oppression. Being a Christ-follower does not make us immune to the influences of Satan. He is the Oppressor and he has two goals for us: to make us unproductive and impoverished. He wants to make it so you aren’t saying or doing anything that benefits the Kingdom of God. He wants to suck you dry and keep you from your true source of nourishment, Jesus Christ. We also can learn from Midian’s defeat that if we don’t seek freedom, we will seek shelter. What does that mean? Freedom is found in our surrender to Jesus Christ. He proclaims it and we have to come and claim it. If we don’t claim freedom in Christ than we will seek shelter; we will curl up in a ball in the corner of our jail cell that has the door open wide and not come out. Whatever is keeping us from claiming our freedom is making us seek shelter and/or comfort and peace through other things like alcohol, drugs, over-eating, burying ourselves in our work, etc. A stronghold has kept us in the jail cell and keeps us in isolation.

www.gotquestions.org tells us what a stronghold is and how to bring it down:

The word strongholds is found once in the New Testament, used metaphorically by Paul in a description of the Christian’s spiritual battle: “Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses [strongholds]” (2 Corinthians 10:3-4, NASB).

1)    Our battle is not planned according to the way this world fights; earthly stratagems are not our concern.

2) Our weapons are not physical, for our warfare is spiritual in nature. Rather than guns and tanks, our weapons are those of the “full armor of God” and consist of “the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God” (Ephesians 6:14-17).

3) Our power comes from God alone.

4) God’s plan is to demolish spiritual strongholds.

What are these “strongholds” or “fortifications” we face? In the very next verse, Paul interprets the metaphor: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). The “arguments” are the philosophies, reasonings, and schemes of the world. The “pretensions” have to do with anything proud, man-centered, and self-confident. 

Here’s the picture: the Christian, wearing his spiritual armor and bearing his spiritual weapons, sets out to “conquer” the world for Christ, but he soon finds obstacles. The enemy has erected strongly fortified garrisons to resist the Truth and thwart God’s plan of redemption. There is the fortress of human reasoning, reinforced with many subtle arguments and the pretense of logic. There is the castle of passion, with flaming battlements defended by lust, pleasure, and greed. And there is the pinnacle of pride, in which the human heart sits enthroned and revels in thoughts of its own excellence and sufficiency.

The enemy is firmly entrenched; these strongholds have been guarded for thousands of years, presenting a great wall of resistance to the Truth. None of this deters the Christian warrior, however. Using the weapons of God’s choosing, he attacks the strongholds, and by the miraculous power of Christ, the walls are breached, and the bastions of sin and error are battered down. The victorious Christian enters the ruins and leads captive, as it were, every false theory and every human philosophy that had once proudly asserted its independence from God.

2)      If this sounds a lot like Joshua fighting the battle of Jericho, you’re right. What a great illustration of spiritual truth that story is (Joshua 6)!

Sharing the gospel is not the only time we see resistance. We can also face demonic strongholds in our own lives, in our families, and even in our churches. Anyone who has fought an addiction, struggled with pride, or had to “flee youthful lusts” knows that sin, a lack of faith, and a worldly outlook on life are indeed “strongholds.”

The Lord is building His Church, and the “gates of hell shall not prevail against it” (Matthew 16:18). What we need are Christian soldiers, totally surrendered to the will of the Lord of Hosts, who will use the spiritual weapons He provides. “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God” (Psalm 20:7).

Midian was a nobody according to Scripture. He was the least likely to be able to bring glory to God but God calls the meek, the low, the nobodies, the least likelies and He gives them the divine power to demolish the strongholds; the pride, lust, selfishness, etc.

The journey through breaking down the strongholds will be hard. You may feel like giving up, you may feel like you can’t take anymore, you may feel like it is killing you but God knows what you need. Ask him for the strength and wisdom to help you through this journey and he will fill you with the abundance of life he so wants to give his beloved child. Reach out from the corner of your prison towards Jesus who is standing outside the opened door of your prison with his hand reaching out to you. Reach, reach….keep reaching…

Psalm Prayers

Somewhere in all my research, I learned about reading a Psalm and writing a prayer based on what God speaks to you about. So here is my prayer based on Psalm 50:3 Our God approaches, and he is not silent. Fire devours everything in his way, and a great storm rages around him.
Lord God, You are among us, all around us, in us and yet I confess I cannot hear you. Help quiet my soul that I may hear your voice, see you in my world and in every circumstance and feel you by my side, in front of me, guiding my way and within me giving me peace, love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control. Listening is where obedience comes from. May this day and the days to come be filled with hearing, seeing and feeling you with me. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Yank the Chains Out!

I heard something on the radio that put in my mind an image of a chain. The radio host was talking about the power of our thoughts and how if we think of something negative and not pleasing to God like hateful thoughts toward someone who has hurt us in some way or derogatory thoughts that put ourselves down and make us feel less than who we are in Christ than we are falling under the influence of the enemy. These kinds of thoughts and others that are not pleasing to God need to be yanked out of our minds as soon as we think them. This takes some intention in reminding ourselves through our prayer time with God that we have that tendency to think things that are not good. Some temperaments will have this tendency even more so but the fact is we are all guilty of negative, sinful thoughts, even the most godly people you know have had thoughts come into their minds that did not make God happy. He knows because he knows every thought, feeling and action we have done and will do. The Bible tells us to guard our hearts and gives us the tools to do that with the Word of God, with prayer and with the name of Jesus. There is power in these to help us conquer those thoughts that want to come into our head that are sinful, negative, degrading, mean and hateful. That first thought that comes in is the first link in a chain that can ultimately bind us and keep us from being all God wants us to be. Take your thoughts each day to the God of the universe who will help you guard your mind from being corrupted.
Romans 6:14  For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.

Day 18: Drawing Closer to God (An Arm's Length Away)

I read in The Jesus Code about how lifeguards are trained to stop within a few feet of the person they are coming to rescue and wait for them to stop moving. I did a little more research on this and found that they are indeed trained to watch the actions of the person before attempting to rescue. There is a difference in the responses you will see of a person who is truly drowning and a person who is in aquatic distress which is closely related. A truly drowning person will not have the ability to wave or shout as they are truly doing all they can just to come up for air one more time. In any case, there are many cases of a lifeguard going out to save someone only to be drowned themselves by the victim because they grab hold and won't let go. It is the natural human response to maintain control. We think we can save ourselves. I love how O.J.Hawkins put it in The Jesus Code: "We know we're going under, but we continue to kick and scream. We see the Lord an arm's length away. Why doesn't He do something? He may be waiting for you to come to the end of your self. He may be waiting for you to acknowledge that you are more in need of a rescue than you realized."

Lord, when I am feeling discouraged, down, depressed, it is time for me to stop kicking and screaming that you aren't doing anything. If I just rest in you, you will be there to rescue me. In your precious name. Amen.

Day 17: Drawing Closer to God (Battle of the Mind)

The book of Romans is one of my favorite books of the bible. It has a wealth of information about who we are as believers and where we came from. I see this a lot in my counseling of clients, the idea of our mind doing battle. Our sinful nature is a power within us that we have to battle to over come. It is the wrong in us that does everything it can to get the right in us to follow along and do the wrong. Because we as human beings have the power to choose, when presented with the wrong path as the snake did to Eve in the Garden of Eden, we, with the sinful nature within us have no means on our own to over come the sinful nature so we will choose the wrong path as Eve did. But our loving God, gave us a warrior who does the battle for us. I think of God looking down on his only son on the cross dying not because he was a criminal and did anything wrong like the other two beside him on their crosses but because he was doing the ultimate battle right than and there with sin. He died on that cross taking all our sins with us and went to Hell. He won the battle the day he rose from the dead and walked out of Hell. As a believer in Jesus, we are connected to him like a tea bag that needs water to produce any tea.  When we accept Jesus into our hearts his living water is poured into us. We now have the means to do battle with sin in our own minds. We just have to pick up the sword to do the battle each day. With Jesus, we are like a cup or glass of tea and the power of the Holy Spirit can heat up the tea to bring us comfort and peace and it can ice up our tea to give us inspiration and conviction. The sinful nature is still there within us but we have the connection to Jesus and the Holy Spirit within us to do the battle and help us choose the way of the righteous.
Romans 7:23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.

DAY 16: Drawing Closer to God (Loving No Matter What)

Most mother's out there can attest to the frustrations of dealing with a preschooler. They have a tendency not to listen, not to sit still when asked, not to follow direction, get angry or upset at the drop of anything, call their friends names, play the blame game, tell on their friends and so on. They have SO much to learn. I remember the trying times with my own kids and am thankful to God that we made it through relatively intact and sane. Now, as a preschool teacher assistant, it is taking the power of God to seriously keep me from wanting to blow a gasket. My frustrations, mind you, are expressed to my fellow teacher who is also at the end of her rope so we manage to keep our cool and maintain an even keel. Today, I walked them through the story of the Good Samaritan with little Lego figures. They were engaged for the moment which was a total blessing but the rest of the day brought anger, cutting in line, blaming, not being kind to each other and so on. There are constant teaching moments in a preschool and especially when you have several students that have special needs at this time in their life. At the end of the day, I was to conclude the lesson by letting them take two chocolate hearts from a gold shaped heart bowl that I told them was God's love. We got back from music and the other teacher was in the frame of mind that no chocolate was going to go to the kids but I called on her to trust me and I sat down with them and talked to them about being frustrated and not very happy about how their behavior had been today. I told them that although I could choose not to let them come to the bowl and receive some love from God and also take a chocolate heart to give to someone else, I told them that I prayed to God and asked him to help me love them right now despite the not so good behavior they had presented this day. They were listening intently. As, I called them up one by one to get their hearts of chocolate, I noticed one girl waiting and crying. Did my talk get through to her? Hmmmm? I suppose maybe we will see in the days ahead of how setting the example of loving no matter what will hopefully take root in their hearts.

Day 15: Drawing Closer to God (Good vs Pefect)

It is a question that comes up sometimes in counseling of my clients. Why would God make us with weaknesses? I woke early this morning and tossed and turned in bed hoping to get back to sleep but ended up thinking about this question. My early morning thinking is by far the clearest and often God gives me such clarity on things in those early morning hours when I don't yet want to crawl out of bed. I rejoice in the Lord for this time of clarity on perfection and weakness. I, myself, have always just thought of humans as imperfect and we are but only because we have our sinful nature that has been passed down to each of us from Adam and Eve. But, this took me back to when God created Adam and Eve and the whole of creation. His comment about what he created wasn't it is perfect; he said "it is good". My answer to the question really remains the same as what I have been instructing my clients. God created a "good" creation that was designed to be in relationship with him. To have this relationship, we have connect to him through our spirit's because God is a spiritual being. Adam and Eve had that connection from the start. They had all of their needs met and any weaknesses they had were overcome solely because they were dependent on God. But they wanted their independence and our sinful nature had begun. Our sin keeps us from connecting spirit to spirit with our holy God. However, God knew even as he was creating Adam and Eve of what was to come and already had a plan in place to send his son to us, that we may regain the connection to his spirit and be back in real relationship with him. Jesus was the perfect man. This is possible because like Adam and Eve before the fall into sin, he was connected and relying on his Father. He was conceived by the Holy Spirit, therefore he had the connection from the womb and on into our fallen world. It is through Jesus that we can regain the connection and allow the Holy Spirit to overcome our weaknesses, enhance our strengths and fulfill all our needs.

Day 14: Drawing Closer to God (The analogy of a light bulb)

I have always been a big fan of analogies because I like to have the visual aid. I thought of this analogy a while ago and have it in my collection of analogies that I envision using someday to use in a bible study that I will write and present. A devotional came to my inbox about the verse from Galatians 5:22 The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. It talked about how this fruit is a product of us abiding in Jesus. I will let the visual that I put together speak the rest and pray it will bless you.

Day 13: Drawing Closer to God (Twists and Turns)

It's okay to fall of track. It happens. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns and potholes that can get us off balance. I have felt a bit overwhelmed with my schedule lately because I have added a few hours of work and added several new counseling clients and am so looking forward to next weekend when I have a three day weekend. But I have been shown how very much I just have to let the family know and call on them to help me as I adjust and regain balance. It doesn't help to throw being sick in the mix but I will just call it God's way of giving me some rest.

Day 12: Drawing Closer to God (Practice Makes Better Not Perfect)

Today, I found myself with the opportunity to talk about Jesus to a 5 year old in my preschool class who was having a bad day with his anger. To work on calming him down, I had him go into the library section of the classroom which is cozy and comforting with the extra large teddy bear. I felt convicted to work on getting him to focus on Jesus so I got a plaster cross that I had given to him way back when this adventure started with him in my class. He responded well to it then so it was worth trying again to regain a sense of calm. It did help and it led us to talking about Jesus. He wasn't convinced that Jesus was in his heart and at five I am not sure they will fully understand but I felt it was worth talking about in the hopes that some seeds would be planted. I walked him through how we all sin and Jesus died on the cross to take away our sins allowing our spirits to reconnect with God's spirit. Well, it went as well as it could have gone considering this boy's anger problem which I am starting to wonder if it might be a biological/chemical issue. In any case, I am thankful to God for this little experience witnessing to this 5 year old. It was good practice in learning how to witness to someone about Jesus.

Day 11: Drawing Closer to God (Hands Need Gloves)

Various things in God's Word, my studies and my counseling of clients have been reminding me over and over again how God provides for our every need. I came across this quote in an article I read today on worry that just struck me with this conviction that I cannot do it on my own: God meets us at the end of our ability and the beginning of our need and he will provide. I am like hands going out into a cold world. I cannot warm myself by my own means. The hands under the arm or blowing hot breath into my hands is only a temporary fix. Ultimately, I need the comfort and protection that gloves can give my hands. God is the gloves and I have to put them on.

Day 10: Drawing Closer to God (Communicating Challenges Faced)

This evening, 19 years ago I married my husband in a magical Renaissance themed wedding. As I sat across the table from him at dinner, I was struck with how far we have come and overcome. It is easy to see God's hand in things after the fact but I can honestly say that I was seeing God's hand in our conversation tonight as it was happening. Learning to communicate is by far the most difficult thing for a  majority of people. It certainly has been challenging for me because I have a natural tendency within my temperament to not express my needs. Not being able to express yourself comes back to bite you in the butt with anger, resentment, bitterness and the love fading from your relationship. Thanks to knowing about how God created me, needs, weakness, strengths and all has been the catalyst to the most growth I have ever had including those super growing physically years when you are a baby. My weaknesses are being overcome with my understanding of God and his word, with relying on Him more and more. My needs are being met because I no longer have the fear of rejection and can assert what it is I am needing. My limitations are fully recognized and accepted for what they are and how they are the very reason I need God. I love my husband no matter his imperfections and he loves me no matter mine and God is working on each of us to grow towards the perfection that can only be found in Jesus Christ.

Day 9: Drawing Closer to God (Far from Perfect)

Although, my own walk with the Lord is far from perfect, I am so grateful to him for the baby steps that seem to happen every day from over coming fear and anxiety on what to say to people to not beating myself up for my own limitations. I am seeing firsthand how focusing on the Lord and his love for me conquers those fears, clears away the worries and helps me to see myself as the Lord sees me: unique, beautiful, child of God. I feel like I am really living out what Jesus wants for me and he is given me more and more confidence in what he has called me to do. So, I sing his praise because without Him it would not be. He is my strength, my confidence and my peace.
Phillipians 1:6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Day 8: Drawing Closer to God (Life Rhythms)

The sermon today was about life rhythms and how God sent Jesus to us, how God and Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to us and how God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit send us out to others. The passage about Jonah going through Ninevah telling everyone that God said Ninevah would be destroyed in 40 days. The interesting part is that they believe him and declare a fast and put on sackcloth to show their sorrow. They ended up stopping their evil ways. Jesus sends us out like sheep amongst the wolves and we don't know what their response will be but we can be certain that the Holy Spirit is working on their hearts before we even get to them to sow the seeds. Whether they receive it well or out right reject us, the point is we did what God asks us to do and we have to remember that he takes care of the rest in his own time.

Jonah 3:1 the the Lord spoke to Jonah a second time. "Get up and go to the great city of Nineveh, and deliver the message I have given you."

Day 7: Drawing Closer to God (Clothed in White)

I was reading this scripture this morning and was able to close my eyes and imagine myself before Jesus. He is handing me a pure white robe. I put it on and embroidered on the front is "Child of God". He is my Father and I am his daughter. How potent and powerful is this when you really feel this in your heart. We often forget that God is our Father and as a father, he provides for us, keeps us safe and loves us unconditionally. I am forever thankful for God's heart being SO big that he would send his son to die for us and take away our sins. The filthiness of our sinful nature is clothed in white and we are adopted into the family. Thank you Jesus for handing me the robe.
Galatians 3:27 And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes.