365 Days of Spririt-Filled Fruits Challenge-Day 234

Have you ever gone along with the crowd or agreed to something because you thought it would please the group, crowd, family, etc? I think we have all been swayed by peer pressure and driven by our own fears of rejection or our needs to belong and done things that we should not have done. King Herod does this in Acts 12. He sees how the Jews are pleased with how he has had James, the brother of John killed and so he decides to seize Peter because he wants to do what is pleasing the crowd. In this case, Peter is put in prison in chains and heavily guarded but God uses this opportunity to show the believers who are earnestly praying for Peter that God is listening by sending an angel to help get Peter out of prison. This is not anything like a jail break in a modern movie with tunnels being dug or schemes being played out that help the prisoner to get out of prison. Peter is literally visited by an angel who instantly releases him from his chains, tells him to put on some clothes, shoes and a cloak and to follow him. The angel leads him out and the iron gate leading to the city opens all by itself. God has taken the unwise decision of King Herod and turned it into an event that brings Him glory. Our own unwise decisions will be used by God for his greater plan as well but how about working on not making those unwise decisions in the first place. We shouldn’t be swayed or manipulated by anyone to do or say anything. Only God is our Guidance Counselor. It is Him we should go to when choices need to be made. This is a tough challenge in our busy world to do. How to stop and consider what Jesus would have us do. Pause and pray for wisdom to make the wise choices. It is something that needs to be cultivated in us. A habit needs to be formed and only a committed heart and some preparation will lead you to successfully becoming prayerful in all your choices. I am going to make it a family challenge and get my family to start working on praying before making our choices. We can celebrate with each other our successes and share our thoughts on how we might do better in the next days. A community effort is always helpful and I am sure pleasing to God.

Acts 12:11 Then Peter came to himself and said, “Now I know without a doubt that the Lord sent his angel and rescued me from Herod’s clutches and from everything the Jewish people were anticipating.

365 Days of Spirit-Filled Fruits Challenge-Day 220

Today as we celebrate the freedom of our country, I will celebrate the freedom given to me by God. I remember the day that the weight of fear and shame was lifted off of me thanks be to God. Driving home from the Women of Faith conference, a sweet lady in the car asked me about how I came to know Christ. I told her about my years of disappointment after disappointment trying to get pregnant with our second child and how I finally opened up to God and acknowledge that I didn’t have control over what was to happen with my life but He did. With my knowledge of my temperament and temperament theory, I can see how that was the time when I started really communicating with God. When it comes to relational and social issues, my temperament is a double-edged sword. I do not initiate friendships and conversation for fear of rejection but I need to have a good amount of this to be fulfilled. During this time of infertility, my two best friends became pregnant and my sister. It was a struggle to maintain my emotions with them so the topic was avoided as much as possible but it pushed me towards God and ultimately led me to accepting Jesus into my heart. My need for socializing was now being met fully by the one who can meet all our needs. Another temperament need I have is the need for lots of control over other people and no control from them over me. Because I was becoming more open to God and starting to learn about Jesus, I finally was able to submit to God and acknowledge that I didn’t have control. But the third need in my temperament regarding love was not being met yet because of my fear of rejection. I have a compulsive need for love and affection but do not initiate it so others don’t know of my need and it doesn’t get met. As I told my story in the car to this dear lady, I heard a voice ask “why are you afraid?” It was at that point I realized that I didn’t need to fear rejection because I have the one and only true God who loves me in ways beyond measure. This love set me free. The weight of shame from the three abortions I had in my younger years was lifted so I went home and told my husband and family of my past sins. I was free from the fear of people rejecting me because of my past sins. I know that I am loved and that compulsive need for love has been fulfilled by the only one who could fulfill it. Do you have a freedom story? I would love to hear how the Lord has set you free. Have a blessed independence day!

Matthew 10:8 Freely you have received, freely give.

365 Days of Spirit-Filled Fruits Challenge-Day 199

I think I may have admitted this before but here goes again, I watch The Bachelorette. It is really the psychological aspects of it that draw me. In this last episode, my heart was breaking for this one man who broke down into tears because he was reminded about the hurt and rejection he felt of all the men in his single mom’s life who came and went away. This same man later decides to tell the bachelorette that he is falling in love with her. So it is only episode #2 and I am pretty sure he thought telling her this would help him stay. I couldn’t possibly guess what his temperament is but from my studies I know there is a temperament who is so fearful of rejection they will do and say whatever they perceive as necessary to get the love and affection they are needing. I wanted to climb into my television to be face to face with this man and tell him that he is loved by the one and only awesome God of the universe but a prayer is all I could do. May this man and all who fear rejection and only want to be loved be led to the One whose love is never ending, never failing and will comfort the hurts and replace the fears with peace.

Psalm 147:3  He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

365 Days of Spirit-Filled Fruits Challenge-Day 165

Life throws all kinds of stuff at you and it always seems to come in bundles together creating one massive load of laundry you got to handle. My dear husband has been hammered with the intense family situation involving his mother and work related frustration after frustration and each thing went into the pot of anger and frustration. That pot of stew was bubbling over yesterday. My husband has a great capacity for self-control that I have always admired but he had reached his limit. But rather than explode it came out towards me in subtle ways when I didn’t respond to a text I didn’t get and when I stopped at the grocery store on the way home but didn’t let him know. I call it the icing on the cake of anger and frustration. I knew that he was angry but my own fear of rejection kept me from probing him with questions to verify it wasn’t something I did but other issues. I tried my natural passive way of approaching him but that didn’t do it. So, this morning, with the anger processed, we had a good conversation and I found it wasn’t about anything I did. My little mistakes were the icing on the cake not the cake itself. He wanted me to probe! I told him about how I was made in such a way that I have a high fear of rejection and it is going to be a process to hold the hand of the Holy Spirit and overcome this fear so that I can do that probing without fear of him barking back at me. Thank you Lord for a good lesson in understanding myself and how the Holy Spirit can help me with those weaknesses within me.

Proverbs 1:5 Let the wise listen and add to their learning.

365 Days of Spirit-Filled Fruits Challenge-Day 141

I can’t begin to think of the number of times I have thought to do something in my head but the action did not follow. When it comes to expressing love, my lack of action is pathetic. I now understand that it is the way God made me. I have a very high need for love to be expressed to me but have a low need to express love to others. It is due to my high fear of rejection that is also part of how God made me. You might be thinking why would God make you with these negative things but they aren’t negative if you have the help of the Holy Spirit within you. If you have chosen to believe in Jesus, the God-void within each of us is filled up with the Holy Spirit. With God all things are possible. So, yes, a person like me who does not feel the need to express love can do it and have the attitude of love. In Gary Chapman’s book Love As a Way of Life, he explains how kindness is the first key to making loving a way of life. Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. It is an action part of loving. A thing he proposed to do, in order to become more aware of kindness in your life, is to write down every kindness that is done by others. In becoming more aware of the kindness of others, you will become appreciative and will be motivated to act in kindness as well. Kindness begets kindness. It is like a smile. It is contagious. We just have to smile and act. I am starting Project Kindness this week and will become more aware of all the kind acts around me and cultivate the desire to be kind and show it.

Romans 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 194

I have two more doses of medicine that are needed to heal the disease to please that I have to share with you.
Being shackled by expectations was another morsel in this sermon on Sunday that gave me a good visual too. Am I so worried about what other people think of me that I am not truly serving God in the best way possible? Yes, it is true. I am not trying to win the approval of God, but the approval of man. I am ashamed and will be everyday asking the Holy Spirit for his help to let go of wanting to get people's approval and focus only on making God proud of me. Paul says it well in Galations 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Chist. Step number two will be to pray everyday for my faith to rule over my actions and let go of the fears that keep me from being the servant of Christ I want to be. I especially like this quote said by who knows who? "Courage is fear that has said it's prayers."
We will encounter rejection, suffering and misunderstanding said Pastor Singleton. It's not something anyone wants to encounter but it is a truth and it should not be a deterent to taking action for Christ.  Another quote I found speaks well of this idea of using action to conquer fear, "Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to couquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." Dale Carnegie.
I read an article on-line about the steps to conquering the fear of rejection. The method was simple, just go out and face that fear and do it.  Let it be your goal to be rejected 10 times and you will find that the more you just do it, the easier it gets.  It may take the 10 "no's" to encounter the "yes" and it is always worth getting the "yes".  The third dose of medicine to heal us from this disease to please is to take action.
So, I put all this into a faithbooking layout and starting contemplating the photos I would use. I started looking through some photos already printed I had lying around just to do some photo placement on the design and came across the perfect photos.  These are photos of myself taken back in the late 80's that I put into my hope chest because I didn't want to show anyone. They have been there all these years and I pulled them out recently and my hubbie saw them for the first time. Again I have been self-conscious about what others will think and I knew that my first action in conquering my fear of this is to put them in my faithbook page and display it.  It wasn't any coincidence that the color I am wearing in the photos goes with the faithbook design colors. Thank you Lord for bringing me this lesson and leading me to use these photos. It feels good to be free of the fear! I will continue to take my meds to help me overcome my fears. Are you in need of some medicine too?
Proverbs 29:25 Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.