Meditation Enlightens

I tried out the form of meditation outlined in the study guide for the book Celebration of Discipline by Richard J Foster. The basic premise of this biblical meditation is to focus on a piece of scripture and go through it imagining it happening. As you do this, you want to try to focus on adding the attention to detail by focusing on all the senses, sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. I did this for the story of Jesus feeding the 5000. Thoughts and questions just started coming and I rolled with it. The Holy Spirit showed me how it is impossible for humans to have faith on their own power. Despite all the miracles the disciplines had already seen by the time of the feeing of the 5000, they did not really believe completely that Jesus was the son of God. I have always thought “how could they not believe?” but now am clear on why they could not. They were blocked by their own expectations of who they thought the Messiah should be. They wanted Jesus to be the kind of Messiah that was going to liberate them from the authority of the Roman Empire. They could not understand the truth that Jesus didn’t come to save our bodies and our lives on Earth but came to save our souls and give us eternal life in Paradise. The disciple’s minds were filled up with the darkness of their own misconstrued expectations. But the gift of the Holy Spirit to them changed that. That is what the Holy Spirit does. He clears up our understanding of God’s Word so we can better live out our lives in service to our Lord which will in turn help plant more seeds so that more of God’s children can be reconciled back to Him. What about my expectations? Do they align with your will Lord? If I have expectations that are blocking me from a clear understanding of your Word and will, please shine your light on them so they can be shaped into your truth. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen. 

Try out your own meditation time with God’s word and let me know what the Holy Spirit shows you.

365 Days of Spirit-Filled Fruits Challenge-Day 10

For the next week or so I am going to pick apart and study the famous wedding scripture 1 Corinthians 13:4-13. When I did my two read-the-bible-in-a-year stints on-line with other family members several years ago, one thing that I found that helped me understand the scripture I was reading sink in was to focus on a word that stood out. In that same thinking, I will focus on the little pieces throughout this scripture and really look at them in depth. The first word study will be on patience. It is always amazing to me to look up a definition of a word and get it put into other words that make you go ah-ha. Patience: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset; the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune or pain, without complaint, loss of temper or irritation or the like. Some good synonyms for patience are long-suffering, resignation, forbearance. I think that being a parent has probably taught me the most when it comes to patience and I am pretty sure most all parents out there would agree. Parenting is a lot of sacrifice that I think we aren’t prepared for. I can remember when my daughter was learning to use the toilet. My expectations were really high because I thought her being a girl and from all that I heard girls just got through this easier. Well, that was far from what happened with my darling girl. It was a long-suffering battle of my expectations not being met and cleaning up after the mess. I can look back and see how my patience was worn so thin and there were times that like a volcano I didn’t totally blow but I let off some steam. My daughter is sensitivity and my yelling greatly affected her. I prayed for patience with her even though my mother-in-law always told me never to pray for patience because than you would really need it. But being patient with others is a piece that shows your love for them. If you are losing your temper, yelling at your kids or husband or complaining about how you can’t take it anymore, than it is time to pray, pray, pray. What you need is patience and the Holy Spirit has that to give you! Look to Jesus as the ultimate example of patience.

King Jesus, you are the perfector of patience. Help me to look to you and the Word of God when I am about to blow-up with anger. Remind me that being patient with one another shows my love. With You All Things Are Possible, Amen.

1 Timothy 1:16 But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 186

I am so not the perfect mother and I am so thankful for forgiveness from God and my family. My idealist expectations bubble was burst yesterday with my frustrations of doing stuff as a family on my day off of work. My daughter wanted to play the Wii so after a lazy afternoon nap while watching the movie The Patriot, I was all ready to do some family stuff but not everyone was on board with that idea.  My attempt to get the game started without my husbands help ended up in a frustrated mess and pushed me to lose my self-control and get angry. In my anger, I told my daughter we weren't going to play but instead go outside and practice riding her bike. She was not kean on that idea since her last practice ride and her fall. She's also becoming aware of how it looks with a 9 year old riding a bike with a parent next to her and training wheels. I turned my anger into what I thought would be productiveness in getting her on her bike but it ended up being a disrespetful mother pushing her daughter to do something she wasn't ready to do. It broke my heart as I saw her go into the house and start crying. My bubble burst at that point in a big way. I saw what I had done and realized how wrong it was. My parenting has always been with a healthy respect for my kids. I have always thought respect needs to go both ways. I did not respect her fears and feelings at all. I went upstairs and hugged her with 'I am sorry's' for a while and than I asked her to come watch me ride my bike that I got for Christmas. In the end, it's probably a good lesson for my daughter to see her mother struggle with her own sins but to turn back and ask for forgiveness but I still wished it hadn't happened. Thank you Lord for your mercy, forgiveness and love.
Matthew 6: 12 Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 177

Expectations can let you down but in the end what happens is all part of God's plan. My first workshop meeting at Church of All Nations was yesterday and only my friend Julie showed up. I knew about a couple of them but the rest had not communicated to me so I don't know what happened. I felt a little teary-eyed about it at first but than just got started with Juile and we had a good time discussing the scriptures and learning more about each other. In the end, God has solidified for me the direction I should take with this ministry. There are hurting people out there that would greatly benefit from a group of others who are going through the same things. They would be able to look to God  in the scriptures and be in community with others while creating their faithbook pages. It is a form of art therapy. So, I am now compiling a list of the kinds of groups of people that could benenfit from doing faithbooking bible study workshops. Here's my list so far: mother's of preemies, mother's of children with disabilities, mother's of children with mental health issues, women facing cancer, women dealing with grief, women dealing with family member with alzheimer, and women dealing with abuse. There are more that can be on this list. If you think of any, let me know. I know that in many cases women cannot participate because of the cost. I have kept the cost down as much as possible but there will always be women that cannot afford to do it. I know there is a way to help these women to but I am not sure how to go about getting the funding for women who can't afford to do it. Perhaps, I need to become a non-profit? It's a mystery to me at this point and one that will take some research. If you have any ideas about this please talk to me about them and help me find the way to help women that can't afford it. Thank you Lord for giving me the gift of creativity and being able to share it. Continue to lead me where you want me to take it and use my friends and family to help me figure out the details. I know you will open the doors and I will keep my heart open to seeing them. Amen.
Ephesians 1:11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.

365 Days of Praise Challenge-Day 145

My thoughts have been on the workshop I did on Sunday. It didn't go as I had planned but I do think it was successful and everyone left feeling good about what they had done. It was mostly kids doing the projects and the mother's helping them so the whole bible study aspect that I had in my head didn't happen. So, I have been struggling with discouragement and dissapointment because it didn't turn out as I had planned and thankfully God has lead me back to reality. It's not about my plans but His. You planted some seeds, you got the mother's hopefully thinking about how to be more intentional with their faith and they each created something that will be a reminder to them of their faith, our Savior and the awesome God of our universe. I gave these moms and the one lady without any kids an opportunity to learn how they could apply their faith. It's up to them on how to respond. The idealist in me would love to see everyone become passionate and committed like I am to faithbooking but the reality is it's up to each of us what we choose. So, if I planted a little seed, got some hearts and minds thinking about the Lord than I will let God do the rest.
Thank you Lord for helping me over the obstacle of my own idealist self and my own expectations and seeing the reality of your truth.
Proverbs 16:9 In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.